What a day!

Howdy all! Sorry I've been MIA. It's been busy. I have felt like I have nothing to say. I am also working on another little project so...there are my handy excuses!
Anywho...
I am watching my girlfriends sons this summer and in payment she is taking me to Mexico this October! Not too shabby of a deal huh? she's a travel agent so I think she is getting quite a deal for us.
Easter was kind of nice. My hubby was sick on the couch Saturday and Sunday. That wasn't nice. He was useless and I got aggravated and shouldn't have, and than I took it out on my kids, not physically but I snapped a few times. I had to take a deep breath and remind myself that he was sick. It wasn't the kids fault. And it would get done and what didn't oh friggin' well!
the weather feels like June instead of April. I AM NOT COMPLAINING!!! I will take this any day compared to the cold and the "S" word!
We are going to go swimming at the rec today! I swear I have fish instead of kids! I waiting for their gills to grow/sprout! I am also swimming for diabetes so if you would like to pledge me let me know and I tell ya how to get a hold of me! It is a great cause and it should be lots of fun! I promise to make all my pledgers proud! =:)
I believe that is it people, not to exciting huh? Oh well maybe next time...

Thoughts to Ponder

I don't know if you know this but I'm a writer. I wrote this story that's good (and I am NOT just saying that cuz its my story) and i have queried a few agents hoping to get it published.
Yesterday I spent the afternoon yesterday with my friend watching our children swim at the rec center. We were talking about my stories and the woes of the publishing industries.
She suggested that I put them up on my blog.
Hmmm...
You know, the first person who read my story I didn't even ask I just sent it in fear of me chickening out. The next few people were hard but now it's not too bad.
When I hit the send button on my first query email, I thought I was going to throw up! Now I send it with no problems.
Should I set up a blog for my stories? Should it be different than this one? Is it just a waste of time?
What I'm saying is I have to take the first step and only than will the rest of them be easier, maybe not at first but eventually!!!

Sent from my iPhone

Finally!

Wahoo, it's nite time! This is something new!
Usually I come to you during the day right before I take the little buggers to the bus or while I'm enjoy my last few minutes of peace and quiet before the bus drops off my kids and all hell breaks loose.
And it does!
It's like a whirl wind zips through my house when the kiddies get home.
The big one comes in and yells; "dogs! No! Get!" as the white dog leaps out the door and chases the other kids down the street. (not really because we have an electric fence, I totally tried it before I put it on my dogs! I wouldn't make them wear something without knowing what it felt like!) Which I run to the back door and stand there and laugh as the little brats scream and run. I know I shouldn't, I should be the adult and yell at the dog (and sometimes I do, I yell go get em bo!) See they are really brats! They aren't nice to my oldest daughter and that is a whole other story for another day! And it funny, because with or without the collar on the dog won't cross the line, he knows better. I wish it were that easy to train kids! (So yes, I stoop for amusement, sue me!)
Anywho...by the time all the kids are in the house, book bags emptied in the middle of the kitchen table, coats scattered on the floor, and they settle on something they all wanna watch and snack on, I have to pick up coats, go through the crap that's been dumped on the table, and referee between the kids and dogs, I have to start dinner and start nagging my oldest to start her home work! It's total chaos!
I love it!
I never get a chance to blog, so when I came upstairs to go to bed tonite and wasn't very sleepy, I decided to (you got it!) blog!
Tomorrow is Saturday, yippy skippy!
I finally convinced my hubby to join the local rec, it's expensive but my kids love to swim (so do I actually) and once we take the little guppys swimming a few times, it'll pay for itself, not to mention when I go without the kids to workout and do laps! I love swimming, did I mention that? We are going to sign up tomorrow, and I think I'll take them Sunday and maybe Monday nite too. I'm defaintly going Sunday and Monday! :)
So many good things! Yes I love my weekends! Hope you enjoy yours too! Until the next time I have a few quiet moments...
(there was orginally a point but heck if I remember now! TGIF!)

Sent from my iPhone

More whining...I mean wisdom...yeah! Wisdom!

I have a visual for you. It's of my brain. Let me see if I can paint the picture!

My brain is a football field. Thoughts are the players. My story is one team. My household duties are the other team. Household team is getting their butts kicked. There are cheerleaders on the side line cheering about the story. They are so loud that right now that's all anyone can hear!

The household team fumbles. The story team misses the interception. The Blonde cheerleader tosses her pom poms and catches the ball! She's running and running and running and scores! Touchdown! Woot! Woot! Woot!

Can you see it? Me neither, Welcome to my head!
But it sounded good didn't it?
Happy Wednesday, may the rest of your week not be so strange!

P.S.
For the record I don't like football!

My aching head!

I have had the worst sinus headache since Tuesday! (It was fine while I was in Austin! Maybe I should go back!) Nothing I take or do helps. A friend told me about a neti pot and I am going to go look for it, but it's bad!
I didn't sleep well last night, didn't want to get up this morning, and defiantly do not want to go driving around in the snow with my bald tires! Why oh why does it have to be so miserable out? I understand it's February and I live in Ohio, but isn't it time for global warming to take affect? I would not complain if Mother nature decided to have it be 80 degrees instead of 20! Crap, I would throw a party!!!
Oh Brown dog barks and it feels like my skull is rattling!!! Can I go to bed and wake up in maybe May? I like May! Would sometime please come take care of my kids, walk my dogs, run my errands, do my housework so I can hibernate until May?
Do I have any volunteers???
Anyone???
Anyone???
Please...Anyone???
No, okay, than I guess I will survive! I just got to get rid of this headache, I think the world would look better if I didn't have a headache!
I'm done whining...carry on with your day!

P.S.
My background is pink, and I am NOT feeling very pink-ish right now! Sorry for the sudden change!

It's been a while...Did you missed me?

Busy, busy busy been I have! Sorry my son is watching Star Wars, I love Yoda! I didn't when I first saw the movie in the theater (Yes, the first time it was released! Yes, I am showing my age!) He scared me! I think he scared me so much that my grandma had to take me out of the theater. It turned out okay, because when it was all over we just stay and watched it again. (or was that E.T.?) Now I'm not sure, BUT I am sure that Yoda talks funny, and as funny as I find it, I can't quite talk like him. I guess was not I an impersonator shall be.
I've been busy! The fam and I just got back (two days ago!) from Austin, Texas. We went for my hubby's niece's wedding. (Yes technically she is my niece but I refuse to have a niece who is 24, so she is my hubby's niece!) It was beautiful, the wedding and Austin! The week before we went, I was trying to finish an afghan I was making for my hubby's niece and her hubby-to-be, but I didn't get it done. I decided to finish it when we got home and mail it to them! I like to make squares, and than sew them together in rows, and than sew the rows together to make a blanket. The only problem is that you have to sew in all these ends and its just hideous work!
Since we got home I have been catching up on my shows, and making room on my DVR and cuddling with my pups. I didn't realize how much I missed them until we got home Monday night and went to bed.
Bo and Duke. White Dog. Brown Dog. My boys.
Duke curled up above my head on "our" pillow with his paw across my chest, and Bo laid right next to me with my arm around his neck! I fell right to sleep and woke the next morning exactly how we fell asleep.
My pups who weigh in at 75-85 pounds think they are lap dogs.(When realistically they are blanket dogs, they crawl on your lap and cover your body!) They have been super cuddly and lovable. As a matter of fact, we have a date this afternoon (after the bus comes to the little yahoos to school) with the couch, a bowl of popcorn, the afghan in progress and Season 1 of Criminal Minds.
Yes, even though the weather sucks in Ohio, it is good to be home!

Change...

Oh boy, change!
I'm not a big fan of change. I like to keep things simple and simple to me is the way they are and have been for eternity! I don't like to cause ripples in the lake and I don't like to disturb the space that I like to be in.
I changed my blog!
I guess it looks okay. (If it didn't at least look okay to me I wouldn't have changed it!)
What force of natural made me decide to change my blog?
Someone said, "It's a little too dark!"
handing me the pebble that I chose to throw in to the lake.

I know, I know! I sit here almost everyday (at least the other day!) And rant about how I am not going to please others! How I don't care what they think! And blah, blah blah!!! I know! But the evil voice inside my head whispered, "If she thinks its too dark, how many others think its too dark?" and the ugly ripple started!

I like dark!

I like dark! Dark represents the evil one inside, the rebellion, the one who says "F*** It!" and once upon a time everything in my closet was black, not so much nowadays! (I think that is a good thing! don''t get me wrong, I still have several black tank tops, little tee shirts, and a black dress, but I also have pinks, purples, blues, greens and 1 yellow and 1 orange)
So I changed it...it's not comfy yet! (Like every other change that happens in my life!) I guess I'll have to break it in, like a new pair of jeans. It hasn't settled yet. Once it does, months from now (but really just a few days!) I will like it and be glad that I did it!
Or maybe I'll just say F*** It! and change it back!

What You See...

Is What You Get!
I'm not on here to promote my writing. I'm not on here to become someone. I am someone. I'm Me. Sure I have faults. (I never said I was perfect!) I drink way to much coffee. Occasionally, I like a cigarette. (or five!) I am not proper. Or formal. I am not a neat person. I am not fake. I do not pretend to be someone I am not!
I played that game once and the honest truth is it isn't very fun! I don't wear masks. I don't try to be someone I am not to please you or to make you like me.
I am a mother. I am a person. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I am a sister and I am a friend. (in no particular order!) And if that isn't enough for you, oh well!
All I want in life is to make MY family happy and when I say MY family I mean my husband, daughter, son and youngest daughter. That's it! Sure if others happen to reek the benefits of my actions and end up happy than so be it.
I've learned that the people you try to please will never be pleased, they are constitutionally incapable of inner happiness. Sure they think if they have A, B, and C they will be happy. Than when they get A, B, and C they want D, E and F too!
The thing that irks me the most is people who pretend to be someone they are not! People who judge you before they even know you. People who think that all the pretty things in the world will make them happy.
I don't need outside things to make me happy. Sure it is nice, but if you took all the material things away would I still be happy? You bet, because I know it's an inside job! In order for me to be happy with all the outer stuff I need to be happy with all the inner stuff, and today I am! (Except with the smoking, I'm not too pleased with that, but I never said I was perfect!)
Now you know what I am not!
Would you like to know what I am?
I am a mother. (and a damn good one too!) I am a wife. I am a friend. I pick and choose my battles carefully because somethings aren't worth getting worked up about. I am passionate. I am a friend and I have your back. My friendship comes unconditional, sure there might be things about you that I don't care for, but if you need me I am there, no matter what those things are!
Yes, I have self image issues, who doesn't? I wish I was ten pounds lighter, and my nose wasn't so big and the wrinkles and bags around my eyes would disappear. But (most days) I can live with those things.
I would love to say I am a writer, and in retrospect I guess I am, but I think I spun my mind blowing story and now I'm done. Does that mean I'm giving up? Heck no! I keep trying, even though nothing is coming or feels as good as my little story did! Am I going to continue to do things with that story? You betcha! It takes time, and patience, and patience isn't one of my strongest suits! If I ever become a published writer than it is going to happen because I can tell a great story, and that is the only reason it'll happen.
Do I have any idea where this came from? Nope, just wanted to express it. And that is why I am here to express myself. I may not make sense, I may not talk about important things but this helps clear my head, and to me that is priceless.
And there you have it, What you see is what you get, and as the ever wise Bugs Bunny said... that's all folks! (or was it the little bald guy that stuttered who said that?!?)

It's your lucky day, two for the price of one

Ahh, to have extra time given to you! What a gift that is!
My little ones friend's mom called this morning and asked if they could come over and play today. (Over at his house because my puppies scare him!) And I said, "Sure, I'll call transportation and they can take the bus together!" And she agreed. She said about 11am I said ok, that gave me 2 whole extra hours to myself!
I called and gave the info to transportation, got my two ready and drove them over to their friends house.
When I turned on his street, I realized I had given transportation the wrong street name.
Uh-oh! Did I tell the mother?
Nope! Why not?
Because it's embarrassing! they have been playing over at his house since October, they live RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, and I can't remember the street name! Hello????
I proceed to do my running around starting to feel bad, what if the bus driver didn't let my kids on the bus? Would the mother try calling me or just drive them to school? If my littlest couldn't get on the bus she was going to be very upset, and it isn't fair for anyone to see the wrath of Luci! (She's stubborn just like her father!)
I got done running around and drove down their street and I figured I would stop and if they didn't get on the bus I would drive them to school, least I could do!
the bus driver let them on, everyone was happy! And I didn't look totally ridiculous. (I just felt it!)
Now I am home, my pups are trying to eat each other and I have 2 hours until the kids start coming home.
I don't know if I want to watch TV, read, nap, write, or talk on the phone, but I am going to do something! Have a good one!

Where you going with this?

I'm not exactly sure what is on my mind right now at this moment. Something is because the wheels are turning so fast that I have a thought and before I can process that thought another thought comes racing in and than they get all jumbled together and I say things like "go comb your teeth and brush your hair! And don't forget to change all of your milk and drink your underwear!"
When I get so jumbled up like that I need to write; whether it be my story, my blog, my journal or my email I NEED to write! SOMETHING!!!
It does work well when I'm in the middle of a story and I get another one running through my head and than another and than another and I have four freight trains zipping through my head. The difference ( yes there is a difference!) is when I have stories flying through my head they stay straight, on the right track, never getting mixed up! Unlike everyday thought about combing teeth and brushing hair!
Why is that?
No seriously why is that? Anyone? Please?
I have a theory would you be interested in hearing it? (Sure you would or you would be here right now!)
My theory is that I have 2 main tracks, decisions and everyday thought, in my head. Everytime I think of a new story my track multiplies!
Yes, my track multiplies so that the new story has something to run on. The more stories I think of, the more my tracks multiply, pushing the two original tracks (my everyday thoughts and my decisions) over to the side, that eventually my thoughts and decisions are running on the edge of their tracks merging into one because there is no room. Which makes it hard for me to have a complete thought. (Hence go comb your teeth and brush your hair! Although technically brush your hair makes senses except in my house hold because we all come our hair!)
Now that one train has unloaded, (by me writing) I can go and work on a story or whatever, and it won't feel so crazy up there.
There you have it folks, a glimpse at how my brain functions.
Has it always been like this?
Nope, I think it got worst as I got older! (or I just didn't notice it as much as I do now!)
I know it defiantly got screwy when I started having babies.

Nonsense...and other meaningless jabbers

I love Sunday mornings!
Sleeping in, drinking coffee and eating some sort of sweet fattening cake or donuts (insert you favorite snack that when you look at it you automatically gain ten pounds!)
Flipping through the Sunday ads and than curling up with a great novel and a warm snugly blanket, yeap I love Sundays!
It wasn't always like that; I remember when I was little I thought Sundays were boring! There was never anything to do, no stores were open and none of my friends were allowed to play. We had to get up early and go to Sunday school and church and home to endear hours of football, or Star Trek and Wild Wild West! I remember falling asleep because I was soo bored and than when I woke up thinking "this show (Wild Wild West) is still on?"
Later Sundays consisted of working and the next day was Monday, I had to get up and go to school!!! And after school it was get up and go to work!
As life went on and I had kids I would have to get up with them, and suffer another week of spit up, poopy diapers and crying babies!
Now my kids let me sleep in a bit, even when hubby has to work on Sundays! And Mondays are usually school days now! (Except tomorrow, my kids have off because of in-service day, whatever that means!)
Now I am excited to start the week. It seems like one day blurs into the next and weeks fly by and before we know it the year is over and it's a start of a new decade!
My kids are no longer babies, my oldest will be 10 in November! 10! I can't believe it! Neither can she; she's so excited to be entering double digits. (Huh? I know!)
Days, Weeks, Months, and Years are long to my children.
When did they just start to blur together for me? Was it when I graduated school? Got Married? Had babies? When the children started school?
Who knows!
All I know is that it truly does go by so quickly.
Today IS a present and we should cherish it while we have it because tomorrow comes quicker and quicker and before we know it we will be thinking "Where did the year go?" as we buy our loved ones Christmas presents and plan for the holidays. (And the infamous Santa shop!)
Ahhh.....
I'm not exactly sure when it changed from "I HATE Sundays!" to "I LOVE Sundays!" but it did!
And today I am going to love Sunday with my 5, 7(almost), and 9 year old before it passes and they are 13, 14, and 16 years old and want to go to their friends house, the mall or cruising around in the car. (Gulp! that is a scary thought!) Or just be anywhere that I am not!
Happy Sunday friends, I hope you enjoy your present as much as I plan on enjoying it!!!

A Problem Shared...

Is a problem cut in half!

I don't know if that is an old wise tail, a Chinese proverb or just friggin' good advice; I do know that it works!

I feel better than I did yesterday. (It might be because my biggest is home with a horrible sore throat and I have something else to dwell on besides moi! Hmmm...we will come back to that later!)

Its funny how that works. I feel like I am "burdening" someone if I share my negative feelings or any feelings with them. I think it makes me seem "weak", "Less than" and not "good enough." the wonderful things I learned from my mother. (Not that she's to blame, she learned it from her mother who learned it from her mother and it just keeps going and going and going like the energizer bunny!)

But that isn't the case. If I share my feelings (good or bad) usually someone says, "I was like that last week..." or "My friend suffers from depression let me introduce you..." or "I know! I..." and I feel a tad better. It fascinates me that by having someone sympathize with me and relate to what I am going through it makes me feel better. I don't know why, and I am not going to try to figure it out, I just want to say thanks and I hope I can return the favor to someone else someday!

Treading water

I would be the first to say I am an optismistic person. I see the cup half full! I look for the good in every situation! If I don't like someone I try to find a quality in them I do like! I'm optismistic, always have and probably always will.
So when depression hits, it hits hard! It's hard to be optismistic when you are depressed. The world seems so dark. All I want to do is sleep, forget getting dress or showering!
Last year I exiperienced a depression that was so bad that you could find me in bed in the fetal position. I have children, three of them to be exact, and I love my children more than life itself, but when I am depressed, it doesn't matter how much they mean to me...as long as they leave me alone! :( it's sad but true!
After last years bout I have taken precautions to not be in the fetal position in my bed.
I take my meds.
I get up and dressed.
I walk my oldest daughter to the bus stop. (instead of standing inside by the window!)
I go outside for at least ten minutes a day.
I try to keep up on the household chores.
When I do these things I can keep my head above the water! And that usually works and in a few days I feel better, but this last bout has been longer than a few days. My head is above the water but you know what? I'm getting really tired of treading water.

Sent from my iPhone

Today's Technology

Hello, Hello, Hello!
It has been too long, I'm sorry I stayed away so long! It really does feel good to be back! :)
Today, I have been goofing around on the computer, my kids are at grandma's house (God Bless Grandma!) and I am procrastinating to go pick them up. While I make up my mind to go get them, I say to myself; "Self just do this one little thing..." and twenty minutes goes by, anywho...
I decided I wanted to Blog because I haven't in FOREVER and I have missed it! I have been "down" lately and when I say "down" I mean depressed, Hiding-in-my-pj's-under-the-covers-so-tired-but-can't-sleep-let-alone-anything-else depressed. (yes I am on meds for this!) but I feel better now sooo....
I get on blogger and after I reset my pass word (I can never remember the dang thing!) I see a little phone symbol and I click on it and it says something like blog from email so I set it up and TA-DA! I can now send messages to my blog! How cool is that???
I swear today's technology is un-freaking-able! I think I would honestly die without my iPhone. It does everything and has everything and as a friend once said "if there was an app to breath I would download it!"
I can access twitter, facebook, my email, myspace, eBay, I can write my stories is my handy dandy notebook app that i downloaded and play games, set an alarm, make a to-do list that I never follow, listen to music, find out who sings a song, map my run (if I ran), and any and every other thing you can think of, I can do it from my phone, except blog to my blog, until today! Woo-hoo!
Just when I think it cannot get any better than that they will come up with something else. But until than...I'm happy to have my phone with all my beloved apps and now I must go get my kids and blog on my phone, Yippee!!!

Does this really work????

I just set it up so I can do this from my phone, and yes I want to make sure it works!

Sent from my iPhone

It's the little things...

While waiting for my children bus to come bringing my rays of sunshine, I was scrolling through the people I stalk... I mean follow on twitter and I found this lady who I found really funny! I am now stalking... I mean following her too, but on her blog she had a twitter button and I was able to copy the code and get my own button!!!

Now you can get to my twitter page from my blog!

I got a new pair of boots yesterday compliments of eBay (and my hubby) and they are awesome. They are chocolate brown slip on boots with 4 1/4 inch heel. I have been wearing them all day today and yesterday (even though they didn't match my PJ's too well!) with the thought that by wearing them everywhere I will tone my legs, thighs, hips and butt. It has to work like those shoes that everyone is making and charging a $100 bucks for, and they are uglier than sin! Mine are cheaper and more attractive! AND if they don't work well, I'll still have an awesome pair of boots!

Finally the noise makers are home, they are 30 minutes late, wonder what that's about, until the next time...

1 hour seven minutes & 38 seconds (approximately!)

It's Monday!!!

My plan of attack is to put the wee ones on the bus and enjoy the empty house! I do not plan on getting dressed! (Thank God sweats and a tee shirt are considered PJ's nowadays!) No one can yell at me for staying in my jammies all day because technically they are clothes, I just slept in them!

Everything is going back to it was before the chaos of December hit! I love school days! Finally some long over due peace and quiet! Yay, me!!!

I should probably clean up the kitchen; get rid of the dirty dishes that are piled on the counter instead of being placed in the dishwasher (Which is directly below the counter!) Put away the clothes I had to wash because I have no more clean jeans or underwear or empty baskets to put more clean clothes in, but I may... (I won't say I'm not because you never know!)

I feel like a little kid getting ready for Christmas break, except I'm not and Christmas is over. I guess you could think of this as my break!

I have to feed the curtain climbers before I put them on the bus and (Surprise, surprise!) they want two different things! One hour and than the house is mine...

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

I hope 2010 found you healthy, safe and happy! And the year to follow offers you peace of mind and wisdom.

For me, 2010 is going to be my year to write. I have goals; I'm not going to smoke, I'm not going to drink, I'm not going to eat meat, I'm going to clean the house, (yeah right! I don't know I always put that one on my list, it NEVER gets done!) Grocery shop weekly, (that one don't happen either!) keep up on the laundry, (well...sometimes at least! Everybody needs underwear!) and write for a hour a day (at least!)

There you have it; so bring it on 2010!